10 Ways To Converse Better

By Joseph C. Ibekwe

A conversation is a sharing of thoughts and opinions with one or more persons.
In a good conversation, the participants listen as well as speak.

Many people are not good at conversations. They make many mistakes, including speaking too little or dominating discussions. In this podcast, I want to show you 10 secrets that will radically improve your conversational skills.

  1. In a conversation, do only your fair share of talking.
    Do not monopolize a conversation.
    Avoid any form of boasting when discussing with others.
  2. Listen attentively to what others say. Look at the speaker. Watch his facial expressions and body gestures. This helps you to understand the feelings and the unspoken words of the speaker.
  3. Do not interrupt another person while he/she is talking. It’s a mark of disrespect to do so. Wait to hear the person out before you speak.
  4. Speak distinctly in a moderate tone of voice. Do not talk too fast or too slow. Maintain good pace as you speak. This adds to your overall impact.
  5. Think before you speak and always consider the feelings of others. Be mindful of the kind of jokes you share so that you don’t become offensive. Be sensitive of other people’s cultural inclinations and preferences.
  6. Do not give too many details when you speak such that you become boring. Be brave and precise in your conversation, but don’t be dry. Be alive and project enthusiasm.
  7. Talk about topics of interest to the group or the person you are discussing with. Drop a subject if you notice it is not interesting to your listener or group.
  8. Avoid or don’t over-use  expressions as “you know”, “listen”, ‘listen to me”, or “see”. These are clichés that bore the ear. Use them sparingly in your conversations.
  9. When you wish to disagree with a statement that someone made, do so in a pleasant and controlled manner. Keep calm when others disagree with you. To disagree with your view or opinion does not mean a hatred of your person; so dont take it personal and become aggressive or you become quite and close up. Everyone does not have to agree with your opinion.
  10. Help others to take part in a conversation by asking them questions about the topic being discussed. Ask them what they think or feel about the issue on discourse. This encourages them to speak and to contribute their own ideas.
    Conversational skills are in high demand in the society. Through conversations we learn a lot about ourselves and we learn so much from others. The person who is at ease in a group is the one who will express him/herself clearly, courteously and effectively. You can be good at any form of conversation, if you follow these secrets.

If you have ideas on how people can converse better, please share them here so we can learn from you.

Enjoy talking and sharing.


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